If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
I was in love with this boy once so I started to beat him up everyday but people thought we were rough housing bc boys can’t like each other and one day I was like “dude I like you a lot but I can’t cope with my feelings so I beat you up im sorry” and he was like “dude that’s really chill we can hold hands if you want??? Btw you have really good punches.” And that’s the story of how I had my first boyfriend
that was wild from start to finish
If I consider you a close friend chances are I’m gonna be at least a little gay with you
me not shaving my legs has literally nothing to do with feminism and literally everything to do with me being lazy
a shooting star is actually someone driving off rainbow road
mom: are you ever gonna clean your room?